It was a grey, cold morning in Norfolk, a stark contrast to yesterday's lovely, sunny day in the high 60s. We packed the cars this morning and headed on our way. First stop, Durham NC. We're having a delicious North Carolina country BBQ lunch at a place called Hog Heaven. They didn't have the corn dogs the kids first wanted, so they got a complimentary banana pudding!
Some sights through southern VA.
~cotton fields and big bales of cotton, and all the roads lined with little white puffs
~a road kill clean up truck full of deer
~"Brunswick County, original home of Brunswick Stew."
~"---- County supports tobacco. We stand together."
Oh, the south.
It's not fancy, but it's perfectly North Carolina.
Chopped pork BBQ, cole slaw, mac and cheese, corn friitters. Not pictured - sweet tea.
Tried to post this on Thursday, but apparently it never went through.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! We packed, and ate pancakes out of our mess kits.
Wednesday I got word that we were approved and for the rental house we applied for. It's exciting because things have been renting quick, and it was a race with other applicants to see who finished there paperwork first. It's scary, though, because we're doing it with having only seen the neighborhood and pictures online, never having toured the house itself. Also, the rental company is still securing a move in date with the home owner, which got delayed with the holiday, so we get to figure out the paperwork, utilities, and whatnot while on the road. Woo!
This has been a week of saying "see you later" (no goodbyes, please) and starting to stress with odds and ends. It's also been Big B's 9th birthday week. My parents visited and brought the cats back to stay with them while we get settled out west. There's been last visits with friends, a birthday lunch, a joint birthday party, a last Navigators meeting, and our last Sunday at Fellowship, complete with me giving a member testimonial in front of everyone. It's all been, well, more than a little emotional.
(See you later cats. See you later friends. See you later family. Thank you!! We love you all!!)
Amongst all that, I've spent the week busy getting permits for shipping crate placement, arranging for the ending of utilities here, thrift store pick-ups, packing, and getting carpet treatments done. M went out of town to research houses and areas of town in Portland. We applied for a rental house and are now just crossing our fingers and waiting to hear if we were the first applicants and if the timing will work out.
Oh, and we had an early Thanksgiving dinner.
As you might imagine, this afternoon involved a nap!
While it's been since September since I've had a general idea that we might be moving cross country, it's only been just over month that I've been sure about it (and only since my last post that I knew the actual destination). In that month, or month and half, I've managed to get a fair bit done in the preparations.
The sign that hangs in the attic.
1) The Purge
As soon as I got the news of moving, the first thing I thought was, "All this stuff is not going with us." I contacted the one friend I know in the PNW, who made a similar east to west trek, and her advice seemed to echo that. Whatever you don't need shouldn't come. So, I began the purge almost immediately. I've been the queen of craigslist a few weekends, getting rid of the couch, a side table, a table and chairs set, TV, microwave, doll house, and so many other things. Other weekends, I've kept the local thrift shop quite busy with trunk-full after trunk-full of donations. Books have gone to homeschool friends and church. Anything I thought would be useful to anyone in particular has been dropped off with them.
Just a couple things I rounded up to donate in the first few hours of being aware of moving.
I've been brutal, slashing stuff left and right. It's the only way to get through without becoming over emotional. Bin of baby clothes - donate. Bag of papers from surgery - shred 'em. Piles of photos from high school - pull out a couple to keep and trash the rest. I even sorted and purged tedious things like the Christmas stuff, jewelry, and the medicine cabinet.
It has to happen, too. This moving stuff is expensive. On top of just generally wanting to downsize and not have to much stuff weighing us down, I don't want to pay thousands of dollars more for each moving crate we pack full. The result is, I've emptied much of what we had in the attic, so it's mostly empty bins up there now. Our clothing drawers and closets are much lighter than before. We have very minimal furniture. And pretty soon a number of our kitchen cabinets will be empty, too.
So many empty bins! Success!
One thing that has been emotional, and there was no way it wasn't going to be, was Big B re-homing his guinea pigs. We decided if we could find a suitable home for them we weren't going to put them through the move. I know some people would shake their heads at us for making this decision, but it took a fair bit of thought and it's what was best. Some awesome homeschool friends happened to mention at a playdate, before we said anything about it, that they might look to adopt some guinea pigs for their son. Ben interviewed the boy and deemed him a good choice - he has a lot of pet experience and is sweet and caring. Best of all, they can pen-pal together about what the pigs are doing.
Chewie and Brownie were picked up safely and we hear they are melting the hearts of their new owners and adjusting just fine to being in their same cage in a new house. Big B and Little B have been fine with it, too.
2) Wrapping Up Loose Ends
I have a hard time saying no when asked to help out. I like to help! But I've had to learn to start saying no, so I could wrap up the loose ends of projects and commitments I already had going on and ultimately do the best thing for everyone. For the UU Fellowship I attend, I had wanted to help with their annual auction, but move preparations got in the way of being able to do too much. I could only commit to doing a small task, and even that I had to then ask to be cut into pieces. However, I finished that task up by the end of September. Helping out at a Harvest Festival on behalf of our scouting group also happened at the end of September. As did planning and leading an activity at our Fellowship's annual retreat. (I had said yes to a lot of opportunities to help, and have no regret.)
A lovely retreat in the woods.
The biggest project I've had has been making sure my scouting group, Navigators USA Chapter 58, survives. I started this particular chapter last year, and while I have two additional leaders now, I've been the main coordinator as well as a leader of one of the sections this year. I've wanted to get everything as organized and set as I can, so that when I leave things can continue to roll along. This has involved lots of emails, making spreadsheets, maintaining a website, scheduling and planning, creating worksheets, thinking about insurance, bank accounts, and charters, and more.
A banner I made for our chapter.
Last weekend we did a tour of an air traffic control tower, helped host a STEM day event, and then the leaders and I led a Sunday Service at our sponsoring Fellowship! I wrote and researched for much of it, picked out the hymns, figured out a reading and chalice lighting, wrote a closing, and kept track of emailing all the pieces we needed to to everyone. So while it was over in one quick Sunday morning, it was no small mental task, on top of everything else. It was all worth it, though, because our presentation was well received and got us more great volunteers. Plus, it was a great opportunity for me. We had an official board meeting for the chapter last week, and now it is safe in the hands of the new team. They are going to keep it running and build it bigger, and I am resigning.
Navigators - Nature, Inclusion, Community
3) The house
We rent a house here, but our lease isn't officially up before we move. Our landlord is great, and said he could work with us, if we'd be willing to find a new renter for the house to start a lease at the time we needed ours to now end. I spent the beginning of October, right after mad purge week, in super cleaning and stage-the-house mode. M helped, too, with days of deep cleaning tough things like the stove top and showers, and yard work including ripping all the vines out of the chain-link fencing in the backyard, and emptying the garden beds. I took pictures of everything looking as just-so as possible, set up a listing online, dealt with all the emails, and did I think six or seven, maybe eight?, showings. We're lucky that it's a wonderful house and we got a renter quickly, but it was still a lot of work and worry, especially trying to keep things clean with kids and cats in the house.
Unfortunately, the new renters got a little flaky, at the last minute, about the day they start their lease, so we have to pay for a little bit of time that we won't be here, but I'm trying not to be [too] bitter. It's still mostly covered. Everything's coming up Milhouse.
4) Schedules and Planning
Did I mention that we are driving from Virginia to Oregon, with two kids, in December? And we have cats to move? And that's the other side of the country, where I only know one person?
Another of my jobs has been plotting our route westward, planning stops, booking places to stay overnight along the way, and generally figuring out the best sights to see and places to eat to make sure we make the most of our trip. That's pretty much all finished, and I have the color coded Google document to prove it.I rock at planning a road trip. I'm really excited about some of the things we're going to get to see and some of the AirBnb's I found - I'll be sure to post pictures on the blog. :)
My parents have graciously offered to get the cats and keep them for a little bit until we are ready to have them flown to us. This week I get their flight-approved carriers, and first pre-flight check up, then they head to their grandparent's house.
In terms of where we are going to live when we get there, I've looked at virtually every hotpads, zillow, and craigslist rental listing in the area that fits our search criteria, and many that don't, toured the city via Google maps, and have a rough idea how long of a commute it is from M's future job to many different parts of the city and suburbs. We won't sign any leases sight-unseen, though, so the plan for now is to stay somewhere for a week temporarily when we arrive, and do a mad housing search. That would normally freak me out - to not really have a place to live lined up - but as I've let go of the stresses of the loose ends that are here in Virginia, I haven't been as stressed about what will be in Oregon. It's kind of odd. Maybe Oregon has been a safe and happy place in my head for so long, that I've just accepted it as such?
5) Pack and Prep
I haven't actually packed too much. Most of what's left from the purge is stuff we use all the time. What I have packed is mostly books and art supplies that, while we don't want to get rid of, we aren't using now.
I've got my art stuff and my new Buddha statue. I'm packed.
We decided to pack most of what we need for a month of living into our cars, and the remainder into POD type storage and moving containers to meet us there when we're ready. I didn't know when we made that plan, however, that PODS is not the only container moving company there is! I found about six different companies to research and then got quotes from three or four. We're set up with one called Door-to-Door. At first I booked with PackRat, but then cancelled after they started trying to get tricky with me right away. Here's the fun part of the storage container plan - because we're moving the week after Thanksgiving, the containers couldn't be dropped off on the day we wanted them due to the holiday. Rather than have them dropped off early and probably end up with storage fees on the other end, we opted to have them dropped off on the only other available day - the day before we leave. We will have one evening to pack our crates before hitting the road. Wee!
(My shoes are wet but my cuffs are bone dry!)
I bought myself a hiking backpack and the kids real "big student" backpacks to stuff our things into. M already has a bag. I probably spent way too long researching and thinking about backpacks - there were various websites, a trip to the store, and even youtube video reviews involved - but oh well, it's done now. I also got us each a mess kit, because our dishes aren't coming with us. Yep, we're going to live out of mess kits and backpacks for awhile. It's going to be so amazing!
5) The rest of life
Oh yeah, we also still have a life other than moving. In October we made a trip to MD, and got to see some of our friends and family. We also got to do some east coast things like eat at Ben's Chili Bowl in DC, get dessert at Vaccaro's in Baltimore, and attend the Maryland Renassaince Festival. The kids saw their pediatrician, my favorite ever, one last time. It was heartbreaking backing out of my parent's driveway to come back to Virginia, thinking about how it might be the last time I do it in my own car ever again.
Maryland adventures
Then there's been park days, playdates, dinner parties, weekly library trips, pumpkin carving, trunk-or-treating, Samhain celebrating, last stops at some the few local places we like, and even meeting some new friends. (Why is it that you start making new friends at a place right before moving away from there?) M finished knitting me a hat! Last week we all took a trip Great Wolf lodge with M's mom and aunt.
Trunk-or-Treat fun
Pumpkin carving - a Frankenstein monster and a cyclops - and eating lunch outside
The kids have been doing well. Their biggest concern over moving right now is that I won't let them use any of the money they've been gifted on new toys, until we get there. They made their own Halloween costumes, April O'Neal from the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon and a zombie, and their own trunk or treat decorations, a haunted pumpkin patch, from a thrift store sheet and fabric markers. They've been able to enjoy much of the nice weather we've had, walking to the nearby park or sitting on the porch reading books. Big B made a poster for Navigators on why plastic bags are bad and how to make a re-useable bag from an old t-shirt. He likes reading about animals and has become concerned about the way humans negatively affect the environment and the effect it has on them. I have a birthday party to plan this week, too!
We've been living in Virginia for not quite two years - one year in Hampton and 8 months in Norfolk - and are pretty much over living in "the swamp". We've met a few great people and had some good experiences, but it's time to move on. At the end of the summer M put in transfer requests to a number of jobs in the Pacific Northwest, and the final result is we'll be in the Portland, Oregon area in early December.
I kind of can't even believe it's happening!
Here's some commonly asked questions I've gotten since slowly leaking the unofficial news over the last month or so, and their answers.
Why the Pacific Northwest? Why Oregon? Isn't that far away? Doesn't it rain there? Have you ever even been there before?
Yes, it's far away. Yes, I've heard rumor of rain. No, I've never been there.
When looking at states to potentially move to, one of my top considerations has been climate, in particular - temperature. My migraines, and a number of my autonomic neuropathy symptoms, are triggered or made worse by temperature variances or extremes. One reason for considering the Pacific Northwest is the relative moderate temperatures. Landscape is another factor. Living in a flat, coastal area for this time has made it obvious to us how much we need to be near the mountains! Everything here is flat and straight and terrible. We are so excited for hills again. Still, it's not land-locked, and that feels important, too.
Another major consideration is the culture and lifestyle of the people. Everyone who knows me, and has familiarity with the people out there, says I'll fit better out there. I've thought about going out that way for years and years. At least since applying for colleges. I hear that the stereotype of the land of friendly weirdos that love the outdoors, arts and crafts, and music is based on much more than just a little bit of truth. A running joke in our house has become "of course Portland!", as I've built it up in my mind as more and more of a fairy-tale land. An awesome new restaurant reviewed online? It's in Portland. That chai tea I'm drinking for breakfast? Made in Portland. List of best cities for anything worthwhile at all? Portland's on the list. City that allows you up to three goats before needing to get a permit? Portland. Everything seems to be a sign pointing in that direction.
M was/is mostly looking for career advancement, and is less picky about what area of the country that happens in. He's taking me to my dream place.
I'll let you know about the rain. From most of the people I've talked to who *actually* live there (so not just vaguely knows someone who lives there, or heard third hand), it's not that bad and is totally worth the winter drizzle for the beauty of the summer.
Sure we might be all wrong and decide it's not the place for us. But at least we will have tried.
What do the kids think of all this?
It's hard to say exactly. This will be Big B's 5th time moving. Little B's 4th. Though they haven't been big or very long distance moves before now, the kids aren't really strangers to living a bit of a roaming life. Also, we haven't had the best of luck finding our niche here in Virginia, so I think they, like us, are hopeful for finding that in Oregon. They are looking forward to this being one of the last stops on our journey and getting closer to our "forever home". They are sad to leave the few friends they do have here, especially since some of them we just recently met and starting to bond with. Oregon has some of the most relaxed homeschool laws in the country and we're hoping that between those, and there generally being more like-minded people around, it will be easier to find more friends.
Big B re-homed his guinea pigs with a homeschool buddy here, since we decided not to put them through the move. That was one of the hardest parts for him, but being able to find a home with a friend who can send him emails and pictures has made it easier. He's also looking forward to getting a dog one day in our "forever home".
They are most apprehensive about the long car drive and about being farther away from family.
How are you getting there?
We're driving.
I've already mapped out our route, which will take us roughly nine days of driving 5-8 hours each day, taking a southern route east-to-west (because it's December) and then turning north to go through California. This will allow us to stop in some major cities along the way, see the south rim of the Grand Canyon, and hopefully we'll avoid any major weather interruptions.
We will pack our cars with most of our clothes, the toys that we're keeping, and whatever else we need to live and stay mostly sane for about a month. The rest is getting packed into Door-to-Door crates and being shipped, and possibly stored if it takes us very long to find a place to live once we're there. I've started purging tons of our belongings, so we're hoping whatever doesn't go in the car will fit in two crates.
The cats are going to be flown out to us by my mom and dad, who were lovely enough to offer to do that for us so we wouldn't have to deal with nine days of yowling and cat-poo car smells.
Have you found a place to live?
No.It's an adventure!
I've started looking online, and M will have a opportunity to go out there for just a few days to generally check things out, but the plan is to stay in a one-week place when we get there while we hardcore house hunt. That's even what it says on my calendar - "Hardcore House Hunt".
What can we do to help?
Thanks for asking!
Mostly we could use well wishes and happy thoughts.
Everyone seems to know someone out there, but if you actually have a close, personal friend or relative that you think we would get along with, who would be willing to talk to us about areas of town and where or where not to live, that would be great.
If you're a gift-giver type and are thinking ahead to Big B's birthday and Christmas, pleeeeease keep in mind that we are trying to limit our belongings to the bare minimum possible for a relatively mainstream family of four. Gift cards are awesome. Or save up to come visit us, instead!! Or consider donating to our scouting organization at NavigatorsUSA.org, letting them know you're a friend of Chapter 58.
If you're a VA local, we will need packing help the weekend after Thanksgiving.
Are you going to come visit the east coast ever again? Are you going to send pictures? Why aren't you my friend on Facebook anymore?
Yeah, we'll come visit. We just won't get home to Maryland as often as we did before.You can come visit us, too, ya know!
I started dismantling my Facebook a few months ago, so if we were friends, that's why you might not see me anymore. This is something I've tried to do before and was less than successful, but this time it's for real. And for real I'm going to try to keep up this blog with what we're up to, as a replacement. I will post pictures.
I am more than happy to have an individual, direct conversation with any friend or family member who wants to talk or share! Please email me! :)
