"Why do you homeschool?"

My two kids, seven years old and four years old, are homeschooled. They always have been, and unless they request otherwise, they probably always will be. When people hear that I homeschool them, the first question I always get is "why?" Sometimes it's more of an upset, "why!?!" It seems like half the people I talk to have thought about doing the same with their kids and just need someone to back them up, and the other half think I'm either crazy or ridiculous or damaging my children or maybe all three.

The question does kind of bother me sometimes. I try not to get defensive, but I don't ask why people decide to send their children away for seven hours a day to a government building filled with more kids than adults, so it's a little upsetting that my choices would be automatically questioned. For those who ask the question in a more upset or condescending tone of "why!?!", I usually respond with something short like "why not?" It saves me from getting more defensive and potentially offensive, as can happen sometimes with the looks and comments many "well meaning" people give.

However, like I said, there are a number of others who are genuinely curious about homeschooling, and for them here is the longer version of the response to "why?"

The list of reasons parents decide to homeschool their children is as varied as the families that do it. Many of the families I've met have had their kids in public or private school at some point and decided to pull them out, either because the particular school or teacher wasn't a good fit for their child, or because their child wasn't a good fit for the classroom environment in general. Some have children with special needs, be they physical, psychological, medical, 'gifted and talented' (for lack of a better word), or otherwise, and the school system wasn't meeting or couldn't meet their needs. There are families that homeschool just one or two of their kids, sometimes because of special needs, and the rest attend public or private school.

Other families travel a lot, for example with the military, and completing school at home provides more stability for their children than would starting in different schools with different programs repeatedly.

There are also a good number of religious homeschoolers, whose duties within their religion include the education of their children. Some parents are more "anti-establishment" (again, for lack of a better word) and just don't want their children in a government system such as the school system. For others, school safety is a big concern and they'd rather have their children at home.

In areas and even whole states, from what I hear, where the public school system is "not the best" and private school may be too expensive, homeschooling can be the option families choose. I've heard of parents who felt they were doing so much work with their child at home after school - in homework, tutoring, or just extra things to boost their knowledge base - that it made more sense to just do all of school from home in the first place. 

The list goes on and on, and I certainly can't know, nor do I want or need to know, all the reasons people choose to teach their children from home.

For me, quite simply, homeschooling just makes logical sense.

To answer the question, "When did you start homeschooling?", which is another I get a lot, is difficult. Basically, we've been homeschooling since birth. All parents teach their children about the world when they are infants. Then, the kids get a little older and the vast majority of parents, probably with varying degrees of success, teach their children to count, sing the ABCs, know their colors and shapes, and all of that. Maybe if our kids are catching on we start to do some reading or easy math. We let them help in the kitchen, teach basic manners, show them how to pick up toys, maybe we let them use the computer with help - this is all learning. This is where homeschooling started for me with my kids.

Learning doesn't happen in a vacuum. People don't reach the magical age of six and suddenly they must go to a specific building at a specific time to meet with a specially trained person in order to acquire knowledge. When it came time to register with the state, I didn't feel it was necessary to stray from what we were already doing at home, and so we registered as homeschoolers. The Big One was smart, learning well, comfortable in his surroundings, had plenty of playmates (posts on the issue of 'socialization' coming soon), and my husband and I were lucky enough to be in a place where either one or the other of us could be home to continue the teaching.

Additionally, we've felt it to be our duty as parents, not so much in a religious way as a personal way, to teach our children what we feel is important for them to know. It just seems like something too great and important to leave in the hands of someone else.

This is not to say that we started without any trepidation. I attended public school, my husband attended private, and neither of us knew what homeschooling should or would really be. It didn't take long for us to find our way, however, and I believe things have been moving along pretty well. Not that I am an expert by any means, but I am comfortable. (Posts on the "hows of homeschooling" coming soon.)

As we've continued on this path, I've come to love so many different things about homeschooling. I now also consider these things that I love part of my 'why we do it'.

I love having my children home with me. That is not saying they do not drive me crazy - they do - but I believe it is my responsibility as a parent to deal with that craziness. I love that we can have a relaxed breakfast in the morning, we can go to the park on a nice afternoon if we want to, and I know what they are up to throughout the day. I love being able to be the one who sees them as they learn something new or when something difficult finally "clicks". I don't miss out on birthday lunches or the loosing of teeth. They are only young for so long, and yes, the time is precious.

The flexibility of homeschooling is great. I don't have to be home to meet the kids at the bus stop at any particular time, we can take our "break" days or weeks whenever we want, we can skip school on a Monday and make up on a Saturday if we feel like it. We can also do our "school time" at the time of day when we all are most ready to learn, which may not be, and in fact is not, 9am. When we moved last week, we took two weeks of Spring Break, then yesterday just picked up where we left off. No need to worry about changing classrooms or teachers.

It's awesome to see how much the Little One learns just by being around the Big One at "school time". I'll never forget when she was three years old, and correctly called out the answer to a question, "the Tigris and Euphrates!"

As someone who dealt with Irritable Bowel Syndrome through much of the later years of school, I like that my children can go to the bathroom when they need to - in their own bathroom, without having to ask for a pass, for face embarrassment for getting up to go for the fifth time. Sometimes, it's the little things.

My kids can eat many smaller meals through the day, as all the nutrition guides say to, instead of limiting them to just breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They can eat when they are hungry, and not when the clock says "Lunch time".

I don't have to worry about school violence or bullying, except for when they fight with each other, and I don't have to wonder what kind of adults they are with (isn't that sad that that even has to be a concern?).

I love that we can cater what we are studying or the way we are studying it to the way our children learn, to what we think is important for them to learn, and to what they want to learn, at least to some extent. The Big One is a smart kid, but he's also very social and loves to make people laugh. All the time. He does well with one-on-one learning, but would be a disaster in a classroom full of other kids. The local teachers should be glad we keep him home. The Little One, on the other hand, seems like more of an independent learner so far, and has to have everything on her terms, so we try to work with that. It may just be an age thing, but the great part of homeschooling is that, without having an entire room full of kids to worry about, I have the flexibility to adapt things to their changing ages and stages.

One of the things I love the most about homeschooling is that in addition to "book learning" my kids are learning about being in a home and community. They help with the chores, they help at the grocery store, they check out their own books at the library. They are learning about taking care of pets, being a good neighbor, making their meals, household time management, and so many other practical things that they might miss if they were gone for most of the day. And honestly, as an adult, which things do you use most in your day-to-day life?

Finally, I am enjoying our studies myself. I don't know if I even learned medieval history in school. If I did I don't remember. But I'm learning it now. I've never been good at math, but relearning the basics in a new way is actually helping me. I finally get what an adverb is! So, I'm not always so much "teaching" as I am learning right along with them.

Why do I homeschool?
Well, why not? It just makes sense for us.