Keeping things together

I found a blog post on Tiny Buddha that really struck a chord with me tonight. It's been a trying day. The time has just dragged on. I'm ready for this week to be over already! I'm a perpetual planner, and right now I feel like I've run out of things to plan, which is causing anxiety. Anything I had planned in the last couple weeks seems to have crumbled apart, and at this point everything is out of my hands. I feel kind of lost, out of control, and I guess purposeless. I have no job anymore. I'm having to rely on other people to help me watch the kids and get us moved to the new place. This week I was supposed to be setting up house, but instead I'm just kind of sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting is not what I do best.

So, I thought it perfect that I came across "4 Ways to Remain Centered Amid All of the Chaos", where the author talks about how backward we are in looking for peace on the outside to create peace in the inside. She writes, "If something comes up that doesn’t go according to my plan, I spend sleepless nights trying to figure out 'what to do.' [...] I will scour the Internet for any hints and solutions I can find." Hmm, that sounds familiar.

She goes on to give four tips for how to re-center ourselves and stay positive and calm. I especially like the last tip, which is to stay focused on life purpose. Though, while in times of depression or anxiety it can be easy to write this tip off - "I don't even know what my purpose is. Clearly I don't have a purpose." - as the author writes, "We are here on this Earth for one purpose alone: to be and spread unconditional love."

Ohh, love. That makes sense. I can handle that. That is a much nicer thing to focus on. I don't have to just sit and wait. I can sit and wait and send out loving-kindness to the world. Over that, I do have control.