Outside of official work time, I've had the pleasure of serving as a support person for many family members and friends as they've become parents, sometimes just answering questions over the phone, sometimes being right there as a doula for their labor and delivery. For awhile I explored becoming a certified postpartum doula, and completed all the steps just short of turning my packet in on time. I still have it sitting on a shelf, postmarked and everything. Oh well.
It was during my time working on my postpartum doula certification and helping some family members, friends, and even a few strangers, that I wrote up this preparation checklist. I'm currently in a baby lull as I wait for friends to get married and pregnant, so I thought maybe I'd share this on here in case it might be helpful for someone else. It's long, so click on the link just under this picture to read on.
In
preparing for your baby, you may have spent hours picking nursery colors,
researching stroller prices, and looking through baby name books. However, there
may be many more decisions coming up that you haven’t thought about. Will you
breastfeed? Who will help you on the first trip to the store with baby in tow?
Is it okay if your mother-in-law shows up the day after delivery to “stay the
week and help” ?
The
following list of questions is designed to get you thinking about your labor,
delivery, and the days and weeks afterwards. Don’t be frightened by its length!
This list is meant to be as comprehensive as possible, so not all of it will
apply to all families. At the same time, the questions may prompt you to think
of specifics you need to consider which aren’t on the list. Take your time and
read through with your partner, support person, and/or support team, and use
the questions as discussion starters to make sure you are all on the same page.
Included are many different possible “answers” (though your response may be all
or none of the above) and links to more information if you need it. Type right
on the sheet or print it out and use a pencil to check things that apply to
you, cross out those that don’t, and write in your lists of names and phone
numbers. When you are done, hopefully you will feel more prepared, organized,
and ready to start your journey as a new family.
The
list is as chronological as possible, though many of the things listed will be
going on at the same time. The four main sections are Labor and Delivery, In
the Hospital / Immediate Postpartum, At Home / The First Few Weeks, and Into
the Future.
A word about birth plans:
Do not print out this check list and hand it to your
provider – it is far too long and involved, and many providers have a negative
view of birth plans, probably due to seeing too many that are long and include
unnecessary information. Do, however, use this as a way to learn about the many
options available in childbirth, and as a conversation starter with your health
care provider. Find out what their standard practices and protocols are, and
those of the place where you will deliver. There may be procedures that you
don’t need to worry about because they are either not commonly done (like the
old practice of enemas and shave preps for every patient), or because they must
be done a certain way (for example, if your doctor or hospital absolutely does
not allow video taping during the birth). Take a list of the top most important
things to you. If you find your provider or hospital is not a good fit for your
wishes, the good news is that you can always switch to someone or somewhere
else! There is no way to ‘plan’ how your birth will go, but being aware of your options and
feelings, and finding a provider who fits with those, is a good way to set
yourself up for the best birth experience possible.
The Logistics
I am giving birth at… …and the phone number is…
__ Home.
Midwife’s phone #__________________________
__ Birth
center: ____________Phone #__________________________
__
Hospital:_______________Phone #__________________________
__ Other:
This person will be driving me to the hospital/birth center
____________________Phone #_____________. Or if he/she can’t, I can also rely on
_____________________ Phone #_________________.
I want to have these people there with me: (Check for any
visitor limits there may be)
_________________________Phone
#__________________________
_________________________Phone
#__________________________
_________________________Phone
#__________________________
_________________________Phone
#__________________________
The people at the delivery will be assigned the following
“jobs”:
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
(Jobs may include
coach, photographer, host/hostess, doula, back-up doula, masseuse, etc…)
Older siblings: My older children will…
__ Be there with me for the
delivery (Check with your provider’s policies!)
__ Be in
the building where I am laboring, but not with me, attended by _________
__ Stay at
home with _______________ Phone #____________________________
__ Be
staying with _________________ Phone #____________________________
Two people
I can trust to be ‘on-call’ for childcare if I need it are:
________________________________
Phone #____________________________
________________________________
Phone #____________________________
Pets: My pets will…
__ Stay at
home and be fed by _____________ Phone #___________________
__ Stay
with ______________ Phone #_______________ for ____ days
Labor
I am planning on having a:
__ Vaginal
delivery
__ Cesarean
section
__ Water
birth
__ VBAC
__ Induced
labor
I will take childbirth education classes in this method:
_____________________
Environment: I would like…
__ To stay
home as long as possible
__ Dim
lighting
__ To play
music ____________________________ (musical choice)
__ Quiet
__ To wear
_________________________________ (hospital gown, my own pajamas, etc)
__ No
medical or nursing students, residents
__ Access
to a birthing tub, shower, etc _____________________
__ To keep
my contact lenses / glasses on
__ To
request a nurse experienced and supportive of natural labor / medicated labor
Mobility: I want to…
__ Walk and
move freely while in labor
__ Move
freely in the bed while in labor
__ Be
confined to the bed (necessary for epidurals)
Food, drink, and IV: I want…
__ To eat
and drink freely during labor
__ Clear
fluids
__ Ice
chips
__ IV
fluids
__ No IV
fluids / Heplock only
__ No
heplock or IV at all
I wish to photograph or film… (Check with provider’s
policies!)
__ Nothing
__ Labor
__ Delivery
__ Only
after baby is born
Monitoring: I want (and/or do NOT want) monitoring by…
__ Fetoscope
__ Handheld
Doppler
__ External
fetal monitor used intermittently
__ External
fetal monitor used continuously
__ Internal
fetal monitor used continuously
In regards to offering me pain medication, offer…
__ Never
__ Only if I ask
__ When I
look uncomfortable
__ As soon
as possible
Pain relief: I want to try these methods of pain relief:
__ Positioning
and movement
__ Hydrotherapy
(water - shower or tub)
__ Relaxation
__ Birth
ball
__ Massage
__ Heat /
cold therapy
__ Hypnosis
__ Acupuncture
/ acupressure
__ Breathing
techniques
__ Aromatherapy
__ TENS
__ Distraction
__ Reflexology
__ Sterile
water injections
__ IV pain
medication
__ Epidural
__ Other:_________________________________________________
Labor induction or augmentation: I’d like (and/or do NOT
want) labor induction or augmentation…
__ Only if
baby is in distress
__ First
attempted by natural methods (nipple stimulation, walking, sex, etc)
__ With
herbal cohoshes
__ By
stripping of the membranes
__ With
prostaglandin gel
__ With
cytotec
__ With a
foley catheter
__ By
amniotomy (breaking your water)
__ With
pitocin
I plan on delivering the baby…
__ In bed
__ In the
tub
__ In
_____________ room (for out-of-hospital births)
__ Wherever
I deem appropriate at the time
I would like to try pushing in the following position(s):
__ Squat
__ Semi
recline
__ Hands
and Knees
__ Side
lying
__ Standing
__ Leaning
on partner
__ Using
people for leg support (I prefer these people hold my
legs:_____________________)
__ Using
foot pedals for support
__ Using a
birth bar for support
__ Using a
birthing stool
__ However
I feel comfortable at the time
During the second stage (pushing time) I would like to…
__ Wait for
the urge to bear down before pushing
__ Push
spontaneously without coaching
__ Be
directed in when and how long to push
__ Have
guidance in when to stop or slow pushing during crowning to avoid tears
__ Push
without time limits
__ Have the
epidural turned down / off
__ Have a
full dose of epidural
__ Use a
mirror to watch baby as he/she crowns
__ Touch
baby’s head as he/she crowns
__ Avoid a
vacuum assisted delivery
__ Avoid a
forceps assisted delivery
__ Use
whatever delivery assistance the provider deems necessary
Other requests: During delivery I would like to…
__ Help to
catch baby
__ Have
__________ help to catch baby
__ Have the
lights dimmed
__ Have
quiet in the room
__ Not have
baby routinely suctioned
Perineal care: I would like to…
__ Use
perineal massage in the prenatal period to prevent tearing
__ Use
perineal massage during delivery to prevent tearing
__ Use warm
compresses to prevent tearing
__ Use
position changes (ex: side lying) to prevent tearing
__ Have an
episiotomy rather than a tear
__ Have a
tear rather than an episiotomy
__ Have
local anesthetic if an episiotomy is needed
__ Have a
pressure episiotomy if one is needed
__ Have
local anesthetic for repair of any tears or episiotomy
Placenta: I would like to…
__ Deliver
the placenta spontaneously
__ Not have
pitocin through a shot or IV for delivery of placenta unless medically
necessary
__ See the
placenta before it is discarded
__ Have the
placenta discarded by provider per protocol
__ Keep the
placenta
For a Cesarean section delivery: I would like to…
__ Have the
opportunity to discuss anesthesia options with the anesthesiologist ahead of
time
__ Have the
foley catheter placed only after anesthesia has taken effect
__ Not have
my arms routinely restrained
__ Have
this person (or people, if allowed) in the room: _____________________________
__ Witness
the birth moment by having the drape lowered
__ See the
baby up close before he/she is taken to the warmer
__ Have the
sex announced by ____________________________
__ Allow
____________________ to trim the umbilical cord (as a substitute for the
initial cut)
__ Have a
tubal ligation done during the surgery
__ See the
placenta after it is delivered
__ Hold the
baby in the operating room after delivery
__
Breastfeed and/or hold the baby during recovery
__ Have
_________________ remain with the baby at all times
__ Be with
the baby as soon as possible after delivery
__ Keep
baby in the nursery for at least the first 24 hours after delivery
In the hospital / Immediate Postpartum
For recovery
procedures (stitches if needed, newborn assessment, etc) I would like:
__ Baby to stay on my chest
__ Baby to breastfeed during
recovery
__ Baby to go to the warmer for
assessment and weighing, etc
__ To hold baby a few minutes before
he/she is taken for assessment
Cord care: I would
like…
__ This person to cut the cord:
_________________________
__ To cut the cord myself
__ To cut the cord as soon as
possible
__ To wait until the cord stops
pulsing to cut
__ Not to cut the cord at all (Lotus birth)
__ To bank cord blood ( http://parentsguidecordblood.org
)
__ To donate the cord blood (About cutting the cord)
Feeding baby: I plan on…
__
Breastfeeding (Why breastfeed?)
__ Formula
feeding
Will I consent to these common newborn medications /
procedures?
__
Yes, by vaccination
__
Yes, by oral drops
__
No
__
Yes, at standard time by hospital procedures
__
Yes, but delayed
__
No
-Hepatitis
B Vaccine
__
Yes
__
No
__
Yes, both hearing and blood test
__
Just hearing screen
__
Just blood test
__
No
The first bath will be given…
__ After
birth, at standard time by hospital procedures, by nurse
__ After
birth, at standard time by hospital procedures, by parents
__ A few
days after birth
__ A week
after birth
__ Other:
Diapering: I plan on using…
__ Clothdiapers
__
Disposable diapers
__ gDiapers
__ A
combination of cloth and disposable
To let family and friends know about the delivery, I will…
__ Call
each person as time allows
__ Send a
mass message (ex. phone text or email) to everyone
__
Designate ________________________ to make the announcement phone calls for me
__ Set up a
phone tree
In the hospital (if applicable) baby will be… (check with
your hospital!)
__ “Rooming
in” with me
__ Staying
in the nursery at night and with me during the day
__ Staying
in the nursery and brought to me on request / for breastfeeding
__ In the
NICU (for babies with known issues before birth)
If I have a boy, a circumcision will…
__ Not be
preformed
__ Be done
in the hospital before discharge
__ Only be
done with pain medication
__ Only be
done with me or my partner present
I plan on being discharged from the hospital / birth center…
__ As soon
as possible
__ Within
12 hours of delivery
__ Within
24 hours of delivery
__ At the
standard discharge times (2 days after vaginal delivery or 3 days after Cesarean
section)
When I’m discharged I will be going…
__ Home
__ To
________________’s house
I will be driven home by ____________________. Their phone
number(s) are ___________________.
In case of
a change in plans, I can also rely on _____________________Phone#____________
At Home / The First Few Weeks
Visitors: I plan on…
__ Not
allowing any visitors for the first ___ days while we rest and adjust
__ Only
allowing these visitors for the first ___ days:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
__ Asking
visitors limit their stay to ____ minutes/hours
__ Allowing
all visitors
My partner will be taking ____ days/weeks off work. He/she
has saved up ____ hours/days of paid leave to use during this time.
I will be taking ____ days/weeks off work. I have saved up
_____ hours/days of paid leave to use.
This person/people will be staying with me for ____
days/weeks/months:
_________________________________Phone
#_____________________________
I will set
up this area for them to stay in:____________________________________
Our baby’s doctor is ________________________Phone
#________________________________
The baby’s
doctor requires that we call him/her to schedule an appointment…
__
Immediately after delivery
__ Within
the first day after of delivery
__ At
discharge from the hospital / birth center
We need to
bring the following to the first appointment (ask your doctor!):
__
Discharge papers from the hospital / birth center
__
Midwife’s physical assessment (for homebirth)
__ Signed
papers printed from website and/or faxed to us
__ New
patient form
__
Insurance information
__
Other:_______________________________________
“The Nest”: Understanding that the most important thing for
me and the baby is rest in the first few weeks, I plan on setting up a general
rest and baby area __________________________ (in our bedroom, in the nursery,
in the living room, etc).
I will set up diapering areas in these locations around the
house, ______________________________.
My baby will sleep in…
__ Crib in
his/her room
__ Crib/bassinette
in my room
__ Crib
side-carred to my bed
__
Co-sleeper
__ My bed
(On co-sleeping and on safe sleep)
Rest: I can rely on the following people to help me around
the house, specifically so that I can rest
In the
daytime
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
In the evening
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
At night
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
Community: I know the following people who also have babies
or small children (put a star next to
those who have breastfed before or
are supportive of breastfeeding, if applicable for you)
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
______________________Phone#____________________________
I am interested in joining the following mother-baby support
groups in my area
__ MOMS
__ NAP
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Food: I am planning on…
__
Preparing and freezing ___# meals ahead of time
__
Requesting ___# meals from visitors. Their names and the meals I’m asking for
are…
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
__ Ordering
food in from…
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
__The food
restrictions / allergies in our household are: __________________________
__Our
favorite foods are: __________________________________________________
Household: The following chores need to be done (for
assigning to visitors and helpers)…
__ Laundry
__ Dishes
__ Sweeping
floors
__ Vacuuming
__ Bathroom
cleaning
__________________
__________________
Professionals: I know of the following professionals who can
help me if I need it…
Postpartum
doula(s) : ____________________________________________
Lactation
consultant(s): __________________________________________
Babysitter(s):___________________________________________________
Housekeeping:__________________________________________________
Other:________________________________________________________
Siblings: I am planning on…
__ Having
___________ come to our house to occupy the older siblings.
__ The
older siblings spending ____ days at _____________’s house.
__ Dividing
up week days between a few people to occupy the older siblings.
__ Needing
transportation help for the older siblings for the following activities:
_____________________
_____________________
_____________________
Stress Reduction: Activities that help me feel rested and
energized, and/or help me relieve stress:
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Activities
that my partner and I enjoy together and that strengthen our relationship:
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
I am nervous about / need to learn more about:
__ Breastfeeding
__
Bottlefeeding
__
Diapering / Dressing
__ Bathing
__
Circumcision care
__
Umbilical cord care
__ Trips
out with baby
__ Bonding
with baby
__ Getting
enough sleep
__ Soothing
a fussy baby
__ Signs of
baby health vs problems
__ Baby
safety
__
Postpartum depression / baby blues
__ Physical
changes after having a baby
__ Resuming
sexual activity
__ Changing
relationships with family members
__ Costs of
having a child / budgeting
Into the Future
When I go back to work / school, baby will…
__ Go to
daycare at __________________________Phone #____________________
__ Stay
with __________________________________________________________
__ Stay
home with _____________________________________________________
Feeding baby when away: When I go back to work / school…
__ I will
pump breastmilk for baby to have at home.
__ Baby
will have formula while I’m gone and breastfeed when we’re together.
__ Baby
will have formula.
Birth Control: I plan on using…
__ No birth
control
__
Lactation Amenorrhea
__ Natural
Family Planning / Symptothermal method / Fertility Awareness
__ Condoms
__ Cervical
cap
__
Diaphragm
__ Birth
control pill
__ “Mini
pill”
__ Birth
control patch
__ Nuva
ring
__
Depoprovera
__ Implanon
__ IUD
__ Tubal
ligation
__
Vasectomy
When my child starts school, he/she will be…
__
Homeschooled
__ Private
schooled in religious school
__ Private
schooled in a non-religious school
__ Public
schooled
Parenting choices that are important to me (compare with
your partner):
__
Vaccinations on schedule / delayed / none at all
__ Sleep
training
__ Delayed
solids
__
Schedules and routines
__
Child-led weaning
__ Extended
breastfeeding
__ Spanking
/ No spanking
__
Stay-at-home parenting
__ “Baby
wearing”
__ Limited
/ no TV
__
Allowance
__ Chores
__ Organics
__ Homemade
baby food
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
The values that I feel it is most important to instill in my
children are:
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Traditions that I want to continue or begin with my children
are:
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Things my parents did / Rules my parents had that I want to
use…
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Things my parents did / Rules my parents had that I want to
avoid…
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Now that you have completed your list, go through and
collect the names and phone numbers you’ve written down to create a master
phone number list. Make a few copies of this list to post nearby the telephones
in your house and on the refrigerator. You may also benefit, particularly if
you have older children with activities to worry about, from creating a master
calendar that you can copy for others which includes the family’s activities
and special events for the months surrounding your expected due date. Remember,
people want to help! It’s up to you to tell them what you need.
Once you have taken the time to develop a plan for your postpartum period, relax. You will find that with this little bit of forward thinking, anything you haven’t considered will likely fall into place – or at least you’ll have some phone numbers of help nearby.
Once you have taken the time to develop a plan for your postpartum period, relax. You will find that with this little bit of forward thinking, anything you haven’t considered will likely fall into place – or at least you’ll have some phone numbers of help nearby.
No comments:
Post a Comment